Lazy Susan (Im Bald)

Have you ever heard of a Lazy Susan? Thats a picture of one, in case
you didnt know. Its basically a small, circular table on top of the
main table thats on tiny ball-bearings so it will spin, making it
easier for everyone at the table to reach whatever is placed on it.
Why the crap am i talking about this completely random invention?
Well, i think ive figured out why its called a Lazy Susan:
I think the guy who invented the Lazy Susan named his product after an
ex-girlfriend.
Its gotta be that simple. He has this great product that only lazy
people would actually use, and thought, "how can i make money AND let
the world know that you should avoid Susans?"
The rest is history.
So, the moral of this story is that if you want to make money AND
indirectly injure someone you dislike, invent something that (a) only
stupid, fat, lazy, and or ugly people would want to buy, then (b) name
that product after the person you dislike and aim to hurt.
But, only greedy and heartless people would actually do this. So the
guy who made the Lazy Susan is probably an über jerkwad.
I guess what im saying is that instead of doing this and hurting
people even more, you should forget the past and move on. Move away.
Go back to where you came from. Leave it all alone. End of story.

THAT, and stay away from Susans, especially if they are lazy.

A dead bird

This is what i felt like today. This dead bird. The week wasnt
stressful but i am physically tired, as opposed to metaphorically or
ecumenically.
This bird was behind my place of business, the place i work, my place
of employment, my job, the building i work at. It was all dead and
stuff. Bugs were crawling all over and around and inside it, like ants
and junk.
There was a red spot on the wall where, im guessing, it smashed its
ugly bird face into the building and splattered bloood on it. Thats a
horrible way to go.
Maybe it had avian bird flu and died in mid air...now i have avian
bird flu.
Crap. This has been depressing. I am sorry.

Do the Dew as if your life depended on it...

"Do The Dew" is my new cause. I need to man-up more often (side note:
im in a chinese restaraunt right now and they are playing like Street
Fighter music, like from the old arcade game), grab life by the short
hairs and "Do the Dew like D-Vader would do (like who? Like who?)
Darth Vader you punk, D-Vader and his crew."

Join me in my movement and
DO THE DEW

Baby with emo bangs

This is Sophie, my cousins baby. We gave her emo bangs and it was
funny cause she looks like a balding emo kid.
Also, we did it again and she looks like shes in an 80's hair band.
Rock on baby, rock on.

Points of interest:

1. Indianapolis smells like butt today (thank you Kirk for this info)
2. Peanutbutter pie is AAmazing
3. Lines at the Taco Bell drive-thru should never be this long
4. Heaven is NOT a halfpipe
5. Yellow is the gayest car color (unless your gay, then its the ONLY
car color)
6. Girls who work at Taco Bell = never hott
7. RDC trucks suck
8. 60% of Americans waste 70% of thier time on the internet (thank you
for perpetuating this stereotype by reading this)
9.Im on a boat (dont you ever forget)
10. Old people do not need Facebook accounts ("what counts as old?"
you ask? Well if you have kids old enough to be in or have completed
school, you are either old, or a teacher. If you are both of these AND
have a Facebook account, you may wanna, yknow, start checking the mail
for a social security check, or planning a funeral, or writing up a
Will. Your younger friends may not want your liver-spotted, spider-
veined, Life Alerted, moth ball smelling, dried up piece of crusty
bread butt hanging around and posting old, sentimental things on their
wall. Not to say that being old is a bad thing, and i didnt say that i
personally feel this way. But, you know who you are, or you know
someone who may fit this criteria)

I love all old people, fyi.

Thank you for reading my blog today.

P. S. Please dont be offended by my words. I am, after all, only
joking. Kinda. :D

-Dangerously Harris