Ok so Godzilla. Woah, another one. No Matthew Broderick this time, just good old people from other movies. That's right. People. Why do I call them "people," when they have names and clearly are famous for other movies and shows they've been in? Because in a Godzilla movie they are just people. And that's what's wrong with it.
See, when Japan or Toho Studios or whoever owns Godzilla decides to make another one, they SHOULD bank on the fact that people want to see...well...Godzilla for Odin's sake. Duh. But American versions (and maybe the Japanese ones too, idk) tend to use the big toad as a selling point, rather than the point of the movie. What do I mean by this? Well the movie ends up being more about the people in the movie, and less about Scaly McStepsOnPeople. I mean, just look at that poster. It has more people than Godzillas. There should be like 5 Godzillas for every human on there. But, I digress. And digest. I want bacon.
I wanna see Godzilla fight a giant hamster, or a giant dragonfly-cat or something. Not the emotional tale of a father, husband, and most importantly a soldier, making his way back to his family after the annoying attack of an ancient monster keeps him from that goal, so he feels a duty to 'Murrica to kill it in the name of Uncle Sam and Jesus and the Flag. Way to go making a Japanese monster movie into a patriotic action flick. Warn Michael Bay his explosions aren't red white and blue enough. Whatever that means.
I wanted a giant monster movie. A kaiju film. What I got was a movie about humans trying to stay out of the way of falling debris - emotionally (uhhhgghhhhh). That's not to say I didn't like the movie. It actually wasn't bad. It just wasn't about what a Godzilla movie should only ever be about - GODZILLA.
Just not THIS Godzilla:
Cool boots Godzilla. What even is this?
Do you agree with me? Did I spoil anything? Do you wish Parks and Rec would get an indefinite number of seasons? Let me know in the comments section, and click my AdSense button, because I am forbidden to...
Also if you have anything you'd like me to blog about let me know by emailing me or something. I don't care. I'll have something to write about. When I see a movie or a show or something I think I'd like to share, I'll post it. If you don't like that then...well...don't come back. And I won't miss you like a dead, loyal pet who had to be put down for biting little Billy by the playground. It wasn't Baxters fault poppa! Billy threw a rock at him! Poppa! Don't shoot him!!! BAXTER!
I never had a dog named Baxter.
Good bye for now. And until next time.
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