Come and rock me Doctor Zaius!

So I was pretty pumped to see this movie and I feel like my expectations were matched pretty evenly. As a fan of the originals and the reboot from 2011 (not the Tim Burton one), I was hoping for a film that held my interest, not confused or angered me.

I'm looking at you, Tim Burton.

Nothing can top the original from the 60's, but as long as an 'Apes' film stays in the same vein as its origin, it has the potential to do well. Rise of the Planet of the Apes (released in 2011) achieved this by introducing how the apes became sentient. This was a good starting point, especially because it didn't focus on evolution, but instead adopted a more scientific approach. It also focused on the apes and not the humans, unlike other movies.

I'm looking at you, GODZILLA.

I liked this new movie for those very reasons, with only a few nuanced reasons I didn't like. Read on for my review, and get your stinking paws off me!

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes takes place ten years after 'Rise' from 2011. Apes have built a thriving community in the woods of Muir forest in the San Fransisco area, and it's obvious they are better off that way. This film takes the idea of apes becoming sentient and exacerbates it, or speeds it up, showing how things have changed since the first ape became self aware by coming in contact with the monolith.

Wait...no...that's a different movie.

What I like about this is that while they are still very primitive, they do have a kind of intelligent culture developing. It's not like what is shown in the 60's film, but you can see how things are heading in that direction.

For example, they use a mixture of sign language and grunts as you'd expect, but also some actual words to communicate, which makes sense because of how their leader, Caesar, was brought up by the humans. Their language shows how intelligent they have become, but having the apes talk isn't used as a gimmick or trick like in other versions.

Still looking at you, Tim.

Tensions rise after a human runs into a couple of apes, gets scared, and shoots one dead. This leads Caesar to let the humans know just how things will proceed by telling them to stay away from their territory. The only problem is that mankind isn't as self sustaining as the apes.

Unlike the apes, the humans need power, as their fuels are running dangerously low. Their only hope is a dam that lays within the apes territory. The whole situation is a powder keg, and as you can guess, things don't go well - for either party.

I won't say much more about the story than that, but I DO want to comment on the characters and their place in the story.

All good stories have similar characters. Think about it this way: Batman and Joker are essentially the same character, only with different motivations and goals. And it doesn't have to be heroes/villains either, like in the case of Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. They are the exact same character story wise, just with different backgrounds, but with the same kind of "hero journey."

Caesar and the main human character, Malcolm, have the same goals in the movie. They both want to keep the peace between apes and humans, all while keeping their family and people safe. They both are leaders, but find it increasingly difficult to maintain control or influence. It's this familiarity that makes the two unlikely friends.

But JUST friends. There's no ape/human kissing like in the 60's movie.

Ugh.

There are a few really scary moments, and I don't mean scary as in like "BOO!" or jump moments. Just look at this picture and you'll see:

I mean, is that not unsettling? An ape with a gun, like, is really strange. I realize in the original the apes had guns, but I think because it was just a dude in a suit it wasn't scary, for me at least. Maybe it was back in the 60's. But that image is enough to add an element of fright to this movie that is both good and bad. Bad in the sense that my wife refuses to watch it with me, but good because thank the lord I get a moment to myself, y'know?

Basically, the movie is well done, and is left open for another sequel that I'm sure will blow the peals off bananas. Which, oddly enough is my only complaint, the lack of more banana jokes. Or bananas IN the movie for that matter. Oh well.

All-in-all, I give this movie five Charlton Heston's screaming on a beach out of five.

I hope you enjoyed this "review" and continue to visit this blog. It's just a hobby, but it's nice to have visitors. So feel free to comment or whatever here or on Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr.

That's it for now. I'll go back to playing Ingress. What? You've never heard of Ingress? Hm. Well....

www.Ingress.com

Thanks again. Here's a glimpse at my next post:

Just kidding, that's a dang, dirty ape.

Rebels And Starry Wars And Stuff

So this post will be about Star Wars Rebels, the new show for kids (kinda) on Disney. This will be a review more for people who want to know what it's about, not necessarily those who care to watch it, and those who have a mild interest. But, if you have NO interest in Star Wars Rebels, just stare at this picture until you do:

Star Wars Rebels aired on Disney XD recently, and, if you're like me, initially you feel all "Yay! More Star Wars! And it's made by the same people who did The Clone Wars, so it will be a great for sure! And everyone's favorite actor Freddie Prinze Jr. is doing a voice for one of the main characters!" But then you say all that out loud and, for SOME obscure reason you can't pinpoint, it sounds strange. 

But we've been told it'll be a "really cool show that will explain the birth of the rebellion," and be an "action-packed adventure with memorable characters," and "watch it cause we have this shiny new toy but don't know how to use it and we are grasping at straws and we really need you to like Star Wars right now!" 

Uh-huh. Yeah I'm not buying it either. Let's walk together through the episode(s) that aired and see what works with them, and what's broken. 

So it starts with Ezra SomethingForgettable, an Aladdin-type character (probably orphaned, more than likely friends with only primates) brooding about living in a town where the Empire is oppressively...um...oppressive. He does the Robin Hood thing and helps out a fellow citizen while making the Imperials look like buffoons (y'know, like REAL kids do). But his life changes when he runs into a roguish green wearer who is obviously a Jedi. 

Turns out that Jedi is named Kanan (voiced by Freddie Prinze Jr., I KNOW RIGHT) and is the leader of a small band of thieves who are Striking Back at the Empire (see what I did there?) by stealing provisions and giving them to the oppressively oppressed. Ezra WhoCares joins the crew, only to get captured by the dreaded Agent Callus (I swear that's his name).

While rescuing Ezra DoofusFace, the band learns that a group of Wookies has been sent to the famed spice mines of Kessel to be slaves for the Empire. Dun dun dun! So they all go to Kessel and rescue the walking carpets. Easy peasy. 

That's pretty much it. There's some interesting tidbits that are kinda thrown into the plot here and there. Like how Kanan reveals he's a Jedi to Agent Callus, making the him contact a Sith "Inquisitor" (which doesn't make sense because there's only supposed to be two Sith at any given time and Vader is, y'know, out there), and it's revealed that Ezra DeadBehindTheEyes is force-sensitive, leading Kanan to offer to train him. 

The characters are all well designed, but their personalities make them beige into stereotypes, like they needed characters for certain parts, but nothing more. Like there are Han Solo types, Luke Skywalker types, and so on. But they lack originality due to their being like other, more well known characters.

First we have Kanan, a Jedi (voiced by Freddie) who was advertised as a "cowboy Jedi," which I don't understand and hate. There's a Twi'lek pilot named Hera who has a...a THING...with Kanan, and they both fall into the Han Solo roles. There's a big and burly cockney alien named Zeb who is something akin to the original Ralph McQuarrie concept art for Chewbacca, only not cool and more in the vein of Jar Jar. And finally there's Sabine, a Mandalorian girl who is an artist/explosives expert and obviously the love interest for Ezra PleaseDie. Because when you think of the birth of the Rebellion against the Empire, you should think of 14 year olds figuring out where they stand with each other in love...and war. 

Star Wars, everybody.

I feel like this show is basically an advertisement for toys. All the characters look like plastic toys with "32 points of articulation!" like they say in toy magazines. As if Disney didn't already make enough money from all their merch. Honestly, tell me this doesn't look like its being marketed to children ages 10 and up:

I rest my case. It's like they made the toys first, played with them for a bit, then wrote a story based on their adventures on the carpet. 

With The Clone Wars, each character was reminiscent of the original cast from the movies, but had their own originality that endeared the audience to them. That's why characters like Ahsoka Tano was so hugely popular, among other reasons. But the show felt like it was telling a story, not trying to be flashy and brightly colored in your face. 

This show makes me miss The Clone Wars even more than I did, too. In Clone Wars, the heroes were fighting robots, so slicing them down or shooting their heads off wasn't really all that violent. But with Rebels, the heroes are shooting stormtroopers, who are humans. Pretty much just murdering people is what these new characters do, even the young ones too.

I'm sure the show will mature and find it's place as it goes, but you'd think the creators would figure out what it's gonna be early so there's no confusion or questions like, "Is this supposed to be Star Wars or Pokémon?" 

All in all I'd give this first episode three idiot Ezra JumpFromSomethingHigh's out of five. 

Thank you for reading, and sorry about how long it took to get another post out. Not that I think people are THAT interested in my blog, but I hope you enjoy my posts and want to keep you interested if you do. 

To anyone getting the email version of the blog, know that I'll be discontinuing that feature soon. It's redundant and id rather you just come to the actual website to view the posts. 

Once again, thank you, and as they say, "Live long, and may the Force be prosperous with you!"

Here's a clue to my next post:

I'm Working On It

Any day now. Promise.