Sunday, February 6, 2011

Oh BOY!

I really hope everyone in the world watches the superbowl today. Mainly cause the Captain America trailer will be shown during the 2nd half.
Oh, man, I cant wait.
I feel like....this:



Facepalm. That pretty much sums it up.
Enjoy the game. Steelers 17-9.

-Lee

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Oh Boy, The Horrible Begins

Ok, so I was surfing the interwebs, trying to avoid the words "Twilight" and "Justin Bieber" (harder than first anticipated, btw), when I stumbled across a new pic from the upcoming Captain America movie. Behold:




At first glance this may appear to be pretty cool, but I assure you it is not. Let me enlighten you as we break this down piece by piece, shall we?

To begin, Captain America is a superhero, obviously. He is a symbol of justice and freedom and should be easily recognizable as such. But even in the 40's the Army was still concerned with camoflouge. This is where Cap has some issues. I'll get to his colors in a sec, but I wanna point out a pretty big flaw in his costume. If I were a Nazi sniper who was tasked with taking out Captain Caveman, the very symbol of everything I hated, I would want to aim right for his big, dumb head and bury a bullet right between his eyes. Well guess what? The Americans gave Cap a big, white, capitol "A" bullseye right in the middle of his blue forehead. How convenient! Seriously, a shot like that would be easier than shooting a SeaWorld dolphin with an RPG from the front row; and score an extra 500 XP for taking out a trainer or two. Mix in some tuna and mayo and we can all have sandwiches for lunch. Yum. Now im hungry. **goes and makes a tuna samwich**

Where was I? Oh yes: Cap's a dork. Honestly, who wears red, white, and blue in a combat setting? I understand he isn't called "Captain Camo" or "Captain RealTree," but come ON, its the NAZIS we're talking about! They kinda weren't known for thier habits of NOT shooting regular people, let alone some bozo wearing clown shoes.

And the star on his chest bothers me too. I know its supposed to harken back to the original costume, but come ON! Gah, this is more of a pet peeve, so I digress.

But, why does his "helmet" go all the way down to his eyes? Is it to mask who he is? I mean, its silly enough that its bright blue; it really just enhances the dorkiness even more. I mean, would YOU follow that guy into combat? Or would you let him do his own thing far away from you? Yeah, me too. The "A" must stand for "A-- hat" as well as "America."

To be completely honest, this whole get up looks too modern to be from the 40's. I'm not sure if this is a later costume in the film or the ONLY one, but it looks a tad too "hey lets add some straps for no reason" to me. Even if it is a costume for modern times, its still too "disco fever" to pass as a government issue super suit (Frozone: "Where is my SUPA' SUIT?!")

The actor playing Cap doesn't look like he's even INTO the role at all really. In the above picture he has a kindof "I really hope the camera is getting my profile from a great angle; I really want this cosmetically enhanced chin to get an Academy Award this time around" look on his face. Ok, ok, Lucas Lee (Scott Pilgrim joke, ha!), we get it: you play douches in all your movies. Take five, and we'll resume your career in about ten years after Captain America/The Avengers ruins it. **sigh** Moving on.

As I said in the Green Lantern review, this is all subject to change. The movie may come out and be awesome, but I'm just going by what Marvel is giving me right now. If the trailer looks even remotely cool I'll change my opinion to an "undecided" instead of "pass go, do not collect $100." Marvel is hit and miss anyway, I mean, who ACTually liked the Edward Norton version of Hulk? Wait, back up, let me clarify: Ed Norton as Bruce Banner? Absolutely. If it was a Bruce Banner movie alone with hardly or no Hulk at all I'd have been happy. But strangely enough that movie had too much Hulk, and at the same time almost not enough. Anyway, before I start reviewing Hulk, I'll switch back to Captain Crunch.

Bruce Banner was a mild mannered scientist when a freak accident in the lab changed him into...........crap! Sorry.

I know he was the first Avenger (I say "was" cause Cap's dead in the comics...spoiler alert...), and that Marvel is planning an Avengers movie soon, but Captain Ameridouche is just a character that is better left on the pages of the comics in my opinion. To make a movie about him is to pillage something already in its purest form, exploiting its usefulness, and perverting a source of strength that a nation can draw upon in times of despair, when it feels like its reserves are low.

Or so some nerds may feel.

Gear up to have your minds erased by stupidness and not care as it happens this summer when "Captain America: The First Avenger" hits theaters.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Some Green Lantern Costume Rejects:

I think they went with that last one, I'm pretty sure...

You - Obey The FIST!

Ok, well, based upon the feedback I'm getting regarding the previous post about Green Lantern, I guess I should go ahead and give a full pre-release review of the said movie. This is just what I and a few close friends have surmised about this movie based on (A. Our knowledge of Green Lantern comics, and (B. The official trailers, and (C. How we feel about the actors/actresses. Ok, read on, you Klingon:

Ok, so right off the bat I'm seeing a problem with this movie. In the comics, Hal Jordan was a respectable man, but the opening part of the trailer shows him being exceptionally unhospitable to his "lady friend" from the night before, whom he obviously has no intention of keeping, seeing as how Blake Lively is supposed to be his love interest in the film. How shallow.
Speaking of Ms. Lively, she is WAAY hot. Just saying. Moving on.
The alien who gives Hal the ring, Abin Sur, tells him to "protect our universe." What bugs me about this is that Superman is kinda already on that job, right? Like, I know he's mainly involved in protecting the earth, but he fights baddies in space too. And Supe's is like the Boss in the DC universe. That automatically renders Green Lantern invalid. This movie is losing.
The visuals in this movie are really good, I mean, everything looks pretty cool. But I expect that because CGI has been a part of movies for so long now that saying "well the graphics are good" is like saying "well boats float pretty good in water." Its just something you expect and have come to rely on.

That having been said, I have to comment about the costume: Its gay looking. It looks like he was painted in different shades of green then dusted with green glitter. Its laziness really. A real costume probably looked hokey on screen, so the art director probably just said "eff it - just put him in a green unitard and we'll make it digital." Batman has a real costume. Superman had a real costume too. Even the Marvel characters here of late have real costumes (i.e. Spiderman, X-Men, Iron Man....wait, scratch that last one...) It just seems lazy to me is all.
Now I could be totally wrong here. The movie could come out and totally blow my mind. But I'm not expecting anything fantastic about Mr. Lantern, especially since they have funnyman Ryan Reynolds starring. Yeah, THAT Ryan Reynolds, the one who ruined Deadpool. Dont even get me started on that one.

Anywho, thats my pre-release review of it all, which is subject to change. Look for my official review of Green Lantern sometime after its official release, or sometime after I feel like it.
If you really want a good one, just wait til I review the Captain America movie. Oh Holy Lord, that movie is going to be such a steamy pile. I cannot even wait for an official trailer. You just wait.
Til then, this has been an entry.

-Lee

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

One Day, Ill Live On The Moon...

Hey, I just want to check in and make sure this thing still works. Dont get your feathers ruffled, I dont have anuthing interesting to post, not yet anyway.
Except that I think the Green Lantern movie looks like its gonna suck, mainly cause I personally dont care about it. But, if Hal Jordan ends up actually using the ring to make a giant fist to pound someone into the ground, I will be surprised and retract my earlier comment. Otherwise, Green Lantern is a joke.
Basically thats all. Hope this wasnt as big a waste of time as it was mine.

-Lee